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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?